how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize