2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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