This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
