You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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