I just pynch a tree in the face
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
