Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
