So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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