Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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