I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
