I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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