There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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