I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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