wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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