We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize