do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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