It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
