I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
