i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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