I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
