a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
