i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
