I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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