can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
