my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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