thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
