Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just gargled with NyQuil
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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