He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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