That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize