I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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