I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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