You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
