dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
