My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
