So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so let's talk penis.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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