I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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