I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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