what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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