At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I want a musical about memes.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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