Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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