Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
