How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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