after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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