if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
