I wanna bring you to show and tell
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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