OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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