some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
