I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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