The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
