I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
