Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
