If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize