I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
