Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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