I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
