Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
