That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
