2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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