Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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