she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
