I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
