ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
