if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
