every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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