we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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