somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
